[Vex pauses, cup part way to her mouth, lips wearing an incredulous half smile as she considers the compliment. Her lashes lower in a way that may have seem coy if it were more contrived.]
You know... [The cup moves again and she sips takes a modest sip.] I don't think anyone has ever told me that before.
[And she's not sure it's true, but she rather likes the sound. It warms something in her chest that praise for her eyes or her face or her tits wouldn't.
Vex suspects Yennefer of all people knows what that's like.
It makes her lean a little closer. She finds a bit of humor, a mock bravado that she uses to guard her real feelings]
Beautiful, of course. Smart. Charming...
[She shrugs, letting the exaggeration fall. Maybe she needs that armor here, but it doesn't feel as necessary.]
[ It would require a lengthier story than Yennefer is in the mood to tell, at least in such pleasant company, but she does feel somewhat inclined to divulge a portion of the truth. ]
There was a time when I did not look... quite like this. The portion of my blood that came from the elves caused me to be born with a twisted spine, among other imperfections.
[ She's removed enough from it now that she can speak of it without hesitating, without lingering on the more painful memories of her childhood. She adjusts her hold on her wine glass, briefly glancing toward the fireplace. ]
An enchanter's skill gave me these changes to my form. It will likely be a very long time before I even bear even the slightest signs of aging, but... our appearance, as sorceresses, is meant as a weapon to be wielded. It is also the first overwhelming detail most notice about us, without bothering to look deeper.
[ Her gaze drifts back to Vex's face, as she in turn inclines herself nearer. ] So I would say I have noticed your beauty long before now, but that would feel shallow, especially since it is far from the most intriguing thing about you.
[Vex listens quietly to as much as Yennefer wants to tell. Of the many troubles that Vex's bloodline has given her, all have been decidedly social. (And more related to her father, and the people like him in Syngorn who looked down on half-elves, saw them as proof of... poor choices.) It's never been a physical detriment. But strange things happen sometimes—and Yennefer's world is very much not Vex's own despite the similarities.
The rest of it though...
That does make sense to her, and she does understand the shallowness of beauty. As much as she is shallow with regards to herself, it's not what she finds the most compelling in others.
Like Yennefer, for instance.]
I won't claim to never enjoy something shallow.
[Among the flaws Vex is willing to own to, that is probably high.]
But I find often the thing that's most attractive in someone else is being a survivor. It's the kind of thing that can't be faked.
[Vex winks then, her tone lightening:] It's what makes scars sexy, I think.
Most sorceresses choose not to keep their scars, after the enchantment. Or any reminders of what they once used to look like.
[ Despite efforts to keep the conversation light and easy, there are some points that feel worth making — and Yennefer suspects they won't drag down the mood all that greatly, but she's also been wrong before.
She's not feeling inclined to maintain a grasp on her wine, at least for the moment, moving to set the drink aside for what comes next — her reaching out to take one of Vex's hands in her own, for a purpose that might seem unclear at first. ]
I insisted on keeping the eye color I was born with, as well as these. [ The scars on the inside of her wrist are silverlight now, but they're proof, of what she endured — of what she overcame, after her weakest moment. She guides Vex's fingers to run over the raised lines, watching the ranger's face instead of the scars themselves. ]
Though I know they're hardly the sexy kind. [ Her mouth purses, an effort at repressing a broader smile. ]
[Vex acknowledges it, her mood not falling but she does show appropriate seriousness. She also shows a certain reverence as she traces over the raised scar. She takes her time, letting the meaning sink in.
Silently appreciating what the scars mean: whatever Yennefer had been going through that led her to these, Vex is glad she survived it.
And she respects that Yen kept the reminder.]
But they are still meaningful, aren't they? And I wouldn't call them unattractive. I stand by them being evidence that you're strong.
[ The pain of memory is dim, and distant; Yennefer has the advantage of time, and living as long as she has, to come to terms with a moment from her past when she was at her lowest. But she also knows the value inherent in keeping these scars as a reminder — not just so she can look at them, or trace them with her fingertips as Vex is doing now, and recall, but also in order to avoid ever coming so low again. ]
Well, as long as they're attractive.
[ She can afford herself a more self-depricating chuckle, a wry expression, but she leaves her arm, upturned, in Vex's hold. ]
For all you know, I shared that story solely with the intention of getting you to touch me.
If that's the case, I suppose it's successful. Though...
[She smiles and leans a little closer, her expression conspiratorial. It would be easy to lean into humor, to unseriousness, as a defense. But she doesn't quite summon that.
There is still levity, but also truth when she says.]
I'm almost sorry to tell you that if that's the case, you needn't have gone to all of the effort.
[ When Yennefer's expression sobers, it isn't because the mood has been ruined — far from it. If anything, their conversation simply slips into softer territory, buoyed by a mutual, improved understanding.
Wordlessly, at least for the moment, she shifts her arm in Vex's hold until their fingers are brushing, a skimming contact that doesn't necessarily become anything firmer — merely having the freedom, the permission, to initiate contact proves a thrill all on its own. ]
[The choice of words spreads an unexpected warmth through Vex, and her head bows slightly to hide the moment of vulnerability from Yennefer's eyes. She huffs softly, almost a laugh, almost rueful. Worth the effort hasn't been something Vex has often been found. Outside of her brother, she'd come to expect she wouldn't be worth the effort back home. Here, it's been a gap in her armor that Sweeney has managed to exploit ruthlessly. The way Yennefer steals into that hole is more subtle, but not less effective.
She doesn't pull back from the light contact though.
She lingers in the pleasant, shivery sense of surprise that her visit has turned to something more intimate than she would have predicted.]
It's easy to forget that sometimes, especially when you're running from one crisis to another.
[Vex's eyes come up then, looking for Yennefer's.]
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no subject
You know... [The cup moves again and she sips takes a modest sip.] I don't think anyone has ever told me that before.
[And she's not sure it's true, but she rather likes the sound. It warms something in her chest that praise for her eyes or her face or her tits wouldn't.
Vex suspects Yennefer of all people knows what that's like.
It makes her lean a little closer. She finds a bit of humor, a mock bravado that she uses to guard her real feelings]
Beautiful, of course. Smart. Charming...
[She shrugs, letting the exaggeration fall. Maybe she needs that armor here, but it doesn't feel as necessary.]
That really is something coming from you though.
cw: reference to physical disability
[ It would require a lengthier story than Yennefer is in the mood to tell, at least in such pleasant company, but she does feel somewhat inclined to divulge a portion of the truth. ]
There was a time when I did not look... quite like this. The portion of my blood that came from the elves caused me to be born with a twisted spine, among other imperfections.
[ She's removed enough from it now that she can speak of it without hesitating, without lingering on the more painful memories of her childhood. She adjusts her hold on her wine glass, briefly glancing toward the fireplace. ]
An enchanter's skill gave me these changes to my form. It will likely be a very long time before I even bear even the slightest signs of aging, but... our appearance, as sorceresses, is meant as a weapon to be wielded. It is also the first overwhelming detail most notice about us, without bothering to look deeper.
[ Her gaze drifts back to Vex's face, as she in turn inclines herself nearer. ] So I would say I have noticed your beauty long before now, but that would feel shallow, especially since it is far from the most intriguing thing about you.
no subject
The rest of it though...
That does make sense to her, and she does understand the shallowness of beauty. As much as she is shallow with regards to herself, it's not what she finds the most compelling in others.
Like Yennefer, for instance.]
I won't claim to never enjoy something shallow.
[Among the flaws Vex is willing to own to, that is probably high.]
But I find often the thing that's most attractive in someone else is being a survivor. It's the kind of thing that can't be faked.
[Vex winks then, her tone lightening:] It's what makes scars sexy, I think.
cw: reference to past suicidal ideation
[ Despite efforts to keep the conversation light and easy, there are some points that feel worth making — and Yennefer suspects they won't drag down the mood all that greatly, but she's also been wrong before.
She's not feeling inclined to maintain a grasp on her wine, at least for the moment, moving to set the drink aside for what comes next — her reaching out to take one of Vex's hands in her own, for a purpose that might seem unclear at first. ]
I insisted on keeping the eye color I was born with, as well as these. [ The scars on the inside of her wrist are silverlight now, but they're proof, of what she endured — of what she overcame, after her weakest moment. She guides Vex's fingers to run over the raised lines, watching the ranger's face instead of the scars themselves. ]
Though I know they're hardly the sexy kind. [ Her mouth purses, an effort at repressing a broader smile. ]
cw: scars, allusions to suicide
[Vex acknowledges it, her mood not falling but she does show appropriate seriousness. She also shows a certain reverence as she traces over the raised scar. She takes her time, letting the meaning sink in.
Silently appreciating what the scars mean: whatever Yennefer had been going through that led her to these, Vex is glad she survived it.
And she respects that Yen kept the reminder.]
But they are still meaningful, aren't they? And I wouldn't call them unattractive. I stand by them being evidence that you're strong.
no subject
Well, as long as they're attractive.
[ She can afford herself a more self-depricating chuckle, a wry expression, but she leaves her arm, upturned, in Vex's hold. ]
For all you know, I shared that story solely with the intention of getting you to touch me.
no subject
[She smiles and leans a little closer, her expression conspiratorial. It would be easy to lean into humor, to unseriousness, as a defense. But she doesn't quite summon that.
There is still levity, but also truth when she says.]
I'm almost sorry to tell you that if that's the case, you needn't have gone to all of the effort.
You are very easy to want to touch.
no subject
Wordlessly, at least for the moment, she shifts her arm in Vex's hold until their fingers are brushing, a skimming contact that doesn't necessarily become anything firmer — merely having the freedom, the permission, to initiate contact proves a thrill all on its own. ]
Some things are worth a bit of extra effort.
no subject
She doesn't pull back from the light contact though.
She lingers in the pleasant, shivery sense of surprise that her visit has turned to something more intimate than she would have predicted.]
It's easy to forget that sometimes, especially when you're running from one crisis to another.
[Vex's eyes come up then, looking for Yennefer's.]
But we're not in a hurry now.