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[princess_of_ida]

[She was not saying it again.]

It was an accident!

[choicely]

How does that happen by accident?

[princess_of_ida]

Like... her people have a dozen different forms of marriage and have multiple spouses and relationships and types of marriages. And she got real intense after telling me she loved me about whether I understood her sea spirit nature, which I did and told her, and she went sea voice and we said some things I'm not going to tell you but I think she proposed then. And then I gave her a key to my place last month, a spot in the wardrobe if she wanted to keep some clothing on hand.

I didn't think about it at the time, but I sort of recall when she first told me about the poly-ness of her people that one of those marriage types was sharing property.

She hasn't said anything to me intentionally, but one time during some really fucking good sex and had her so gone - so gone, Yen - she called me wife instead of any of the other terms of endearment or names.

[There's only eight forms of marriage, but every time she talked about this to someone, the number grew.]

[choicely]

... you really did get married by accident.

[ which she says almost from the position of sounding rather impressed, even if she knows ianthe is probably seconds away from burying her face into the nearest pillow and screaming. ]

I assume you haven't asked her for any kind of clarification on whether you are, in fact, married to her, but on the other hand, referring to you as "wife" is a fairly obvious sign on its own.

[princess_of_ida]

This is your fault.

[Back to petulance and avoiding the issue.]

[choicely]

You'll have to explain that part to me as well.

[princess_of_ida]

You...

[Vague hand gesturing that Ianthe gent stupid doing afterward since it's not like they're being seen]

Spoke it into existence.

[choicely]

Are you sure you're not giving me too much credit?

[princess_of_ida]

Well, how else did it happen?!

[They both knew Ianthe wasn't serious. Yennefer didn't have prophecy magic... probably.]

[choicely]

Because you're fond of her while not being entirely familiar with her sphere's customs.

[princess_of_ida]

How dare you give me logic. I don't want logic.

[choicely]

And you wouldn't be interested in sympathy, either. Am I right?

[princess_of_ida]

I don't know what to do, Yen. I'm betrothed back home.

[Just because Ianthe betrothed herself to Harrowhark didn't make it any less true. Nevermind that Harrow was unaware of it.]

John says I can marry here if I want but... it's complicated.

[choicely]

Well, it seems as though you have God's permission.

[ even though she also understands the position of not being completely sold on a god's assurance. ]

I'd say it might not present a larger problem unless your betrothed suddenly happens to appear here.

[princess_of_ida]

She wouldn't care. [Mostly because she didn't know Ianthe had decided they would wed.] It's not like it would be a factor outside of here. I don't even know if her planet is in my galaxy.

Outside of all that... I am... torn.

[choicely]

Because you didn't envision yourself as anyone's wife?

[princess_of_ida]

No, because my feelings are hard to categorize.

[choicely]

It's never easy to truly care about someone.

[princess_of_ida]

[Did she trust Yennefer? Could she talk about the real issue? She could understand things beyond what she had encountered. But Yennefer was also one of the few people here she truly saw as an equal. Maybe if she talked without giving the real details.]

Okay, Yen... only John knows this and I don't think he actually gets it. There's a... duality inside of me. Like I'm two in one. I'm me, but there's another part of me that wasn't originally there but is now and is me but not. Yet there isn't a clear delineation between the two.

It's that other part that holds the majority of my... affections.

[choicely]

So now, it's more of a question of... how much of this is you, and how much of it is this other part?

[ without knowing all of the details, she can only guess at what it means for ianthe now, but it is giving her a better understanding of why the necromancer might be feeling especially torn about this, if these feelings largely exist in a piece that wasn't always within her. ]

[princess_of_ida]

Yeah... but that part is still technically me. It influences me. Like I can't find where I end and that part begins anymore like. Every day it's even less clear.

[She sighed.] Like I'm very much aware that part of me is why I feel like I do, why I kind of do want to be her wife. But it's not me... except I'll never be me like I used to be.

[Was this even making sense?]

[choicely]

Then I suppose the real question is: if you had the chance to separate this other part from you, would you?

[princess_of_ida]

No. [Absolutely no hesitation.] It's necessary for what I am and what I must do back home.

[But then came the heavy pause.]

I just... wish it wasn't changing who I was. Integrating like it is.

[choicely]

Change happens for all of us, regardless of the circumstances that set it in motion.

I'm far from the woman I was when I first ascended to sorceress. I resisted it at first, but now... [ she trails off herself, and then there's a pause on her side before she continues. ] And perhaps you didn't envision that this new piece would change you in the way that it has, but not relinquishing it means opening yourself up to the possibility of accepting what you might become.

[princess_of_ida]

But he's so boring. Ugh. No wonder he fell for her, she's just the kind of woman for him.